On Intensity

Anyone that knows me personally knows that I am a very intense individual. This intensity of purpose and drive is extremely valuable in a business environment especially being a start-up. I set very aggressive goals for myself personally and professionally. One of my favorite quotes is, "Aim for the moon at the very least you will land among the stars."

While in business this level of intensity is very much a prerequisite in social and personal circles it can be easily misunderstood. I know this from many years of personal experience. One of my greatest weaknesses is my ability to, "Turn it off," and just let things be. I've been reminded on several occasions recently on why this level of intensity is not constructive in interpersonal relationships. Over the years I can't count how many friendships and relationships have been strained because of it. Not the least of which is that with my immediate family.

Last year I was so focused on saving my faltering business that I fore goed attending Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities. I rationalized this by telling myself that I needed to work harder than anyone else to show my dedication to my clients. Needless to say many family members were not very happy at my decision. The scary part is that I didn't learn from that and am contemplating the very same decision this year. I'm a little hard headed that way.

What's worse is when it comes to the fairer sex. I do not fall often, and I honestly don't go out looking for relationships. When I do fall however it is very hard and very fast. Couple that with my inability to censor myself on most occasions and it can be very intimidating for most young ladies. Again, I recognize the behavior but for some reason unbeknownst to me I cannot seem to temper it. This is very disconcerting for someone who preaches the belief that everything in life is a choice.

Being goal driven is not a bad thing when it comes to business or personal growth. However it should have no place in the courting process. A relationship is not a goal to be achieved, it is a delicate rose to be cultivated and nurtured very gently. Logically I understand this and pray that I can find the strength of will to implement the changes within myself to achieve this level of tranquility. Until then I hope to find a strong woman with a great deal of patience to tolerate me while I work through this. I haven't found her yet, but I pray that she's out there somewhere.