Recent events have really made me reevaluate how I look at things. As Einstein said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results." I have always been very independent and resolute in my thoughts and opinions. I would quote an old Aaron Tippin song regularly, "You've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything."
My family are good people. Solid blue collar folks with a good work ethic. I share this work ethic with them and thank them for that. Where we diverge is they very much have what I call an employee mentality. I almost think its a generational thing. My Grandfather served in the Navy during World War II in the Pacific, and he and my Grandmother grew up during the Depression Era. Coming out of that they very much had a tremendous sense of gratitude for having a job of any kind.
When my Grandfather passed away from cancer over a decade ago my Grandmother requested that I be the one to present her with his burial flag. I was still serving as part of a Marine Corps Reserve unit at the time. I'd been a part of many burial details in my eight year career as a Marine. I had seen many a grieving widow be handed that neatly folded flag covering the casket. Try as I might I could not help but choke on those words as I uttered them to my Grandmother, "On behalf of the President of the United States and a grateful nation I present you with this flag for your husband's faithful and honorable service in the Pacific theater." Thinking about the events of that day make me instantly tear up.
I really miss my Grandfather, more than I would normally ever admit publicly. Publicly I'm this cold, callous, all business persona. All though lately my friends have been calling me out on that. A good friend remarked last night at a Nordstrom Tweet-up event that, "you're this entrepreneur and businessman, but all you really want is love." I was explaining to her about the journal I now carry with me. Thank you Sabrina for being a supporting friend both personally and professionally.
Back to my Grandfather though. When he passed there was only one thing that I requested from my Grandmother. I wanted the Japanese service rifle he had brought back from the war. To me it represented our shared military background. It went to my Uncle however, their one and only son of five children. I was very upset as he had never served in the military and somewhat resented that he got it. A purely selfish thing as I'm sure he held strong memories of it as well.
Years later as I transitioned into a more white collar career path and began to wear French Cuffed shirts my Grandmother pulled me aside at a family function. She knew how I felt about not getting the rifle hard as I tried to hide it. She took me to her dresser and pulled out a small leather pouch. As she handed it to me she said, "These were your Grandfather's."
As I opened the pouch I saw a set of simple gold cuff links and a matching tie bar. I was speechless, it wasn't the rifle I had pined over but these meant so much more! The rifle represented both my Grandfather and I's military past. The cuff links represented who we grew to be. He was a manager at Boeing. I love the cuff links my Grandmother gave me. I can feel my Grandfather at my side whenever I wear them. These simple, square cuff links with the head of a golf club have come to mean more to me than the rifle ever could. That being said I still haven't reconciled that with my Uncle who I had so selfishly shut out.
There are many things my Uncle and I share. We are both business owners, we both enjoy country music on occasion, and we both have found memories of my Grandfather tied to that rifle. We do have our differences as well. I don't agree with his constant longing to return to Boeing after they laid him off years ago just so he can get his pension. Family events are always an update on how many positions he's moved up on the rehire list. I don't understand the logic of that, but we're different people and I need to learn to accept that.
To be continued...
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