Fools Rush In

I really do love that song.  Elvis truly is the King, and that song is very much an anthem to my romantic life.  For as logical and analytical as I am when it comes to matters of the heart I am all passion.  I think this stems from locking down any expression of emotion while I was in the military.

I still haven't forgiven myself for or completely let go of the young woman in Houston.  I replay conversations and scenarios in my head trying to see what I could have done differently or said differently.  Maybe she was right and we're just to different?  Maybe I pushed to hard for something she wasn't ready for yet?  Either way I still love her very much while I'm trying to move on, very cautiously.

My friends tell me I just need to go out have some fun.  If I infer their meaning of fun correctly I'm afraid that is not something I'm wired to do.  It's sweet that they keep trying to set me up, but truthfully I'm just not in a place where I can do that right now.  I wish I was, I really do...

This whole thing has been extremely distracting.  I actually have to consciously focus on business or my mind drifts back to her.  It's very frustrating on some levels because there is so much still to do for ECFW.  We're facing a pretty substantial budget short fall, and I have been trying desperately to close the gap.  I'm struggling with how do we maintain the integrity of what ECFW's mission is and put on a show with the resources we currently have.

It's as though everything I have worked so hard for the last year is crumbling before my eyes and I'm the little Dutch boy desperately trying to keep the water from flowing.  I have great friends that have rallied around me to support my vision, and offer what support they can. I haven't lost faith that we can do this, it just may not be the grand spectacle I had hoped for.  Quality over quantity as they say...