On Family - Part 3

There's a saying that goes, "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family."  If there is one lesson I learned from my Lady it's that this is not the case.  It's really all in how you define family.  That lesson was reinforced over the weekend after watching the movie The Blind Side.  If you haven't seen this movie yet I highly reccomend it, but keep some tissues handy.

The movie is a biography of Michael Oher, who now plays for the Baltimore Raven's.  Michael was a homeless teen in Memphis, TN that was taken in by the Tuohy family.  The Tuohy's very much considered Michael a part of their family.  It's a very touching story.

Why do I bring this up?  Well we're going to expose some more of the soft underbelly as part of my intraspection.  We've all ready touched on some of the challenges I have relating to my own family.  God bless my Mother, I do love her.  That being said, I've found that our relationship is one that is best at a distance. 

Mothers are an interesting lot.  Regardless of how old you get they still look at you as their baby.  Mine is no different.  Despite eight years in the Marines I'm still her little boy, and with the best of intentions she tries to protect me from the big bad world.  For someone like me that has an independant streak a country mile wide this can pose challenges.  With the best of intentions she would be far happier if I would just, "get a good job and not rock the boat."

I really wish that was within my character, but I'm affraid it is not.  Conversations about my business ventures inevitably lead to all the things that could go wrong.  All of which I am quite well aware of.  She doesn't do this out of malice, but it is a source of frustration for me.  It makes it very difficult to have conversations with her of any kind which is very disappointing.  As bad as it sounds its lead me to very much limit my interactions with her and keep conversations on very superficial level.

I wish I knew how to reconcile this with her, but efforts to date have been in vien.  I've expressed my concerns and she does okay for a while, but its just part of who she is.  Some people just aren't comfortable with risk and fear the unkown.  For some reason I thrive on it.  It kind of makes me a black sheep in the family, but we all have our role to play.

Why am I sharing this little peak into my family dynamic?  Mostly because this was a cause for concern with my Lady.  Family is very important to her, so the fact that I had all but given up hope of a deeper relationship with my Mother concerned her.  Ironically I was secretly hoping that our relationship would have been a way to open the door to a reconciliation.  My Mother would have loved her.  I could picture the two of them going on about my Mother's quilting for hours.  My Lady has this aura about her that is just amazing to watch and I miss it dearly.

That may sound weak to some of you, and you are entitled to your opinion.  I am quite aware of my strengths and most of my weaknesses.  I explore them both here in as transparent a manor as I can in the hopes that I can work through them, and maybe help some of you work through your demons as well.